I Am Not Who My Father Was

Published on 18 December 2025 at 22:49

This story was written by Kemisha M. Van Dunk in connection with the Father Wounds workshop and is shared with the author’s permission.

The old farmhouse still smelled of tobacco and rain-soaked wood - the way it had when his father ruled it like a kingdom.  Every creak of the floor boards whispered reminders:  "You are his son. You will carry his name. You will carry his way."  But Jeffrey stood in the doorway, suitcase in hand, staring at the fields that had once been his prison.  His father's voice echoed in memory - hard, unyielding, carved from stone - "Men work the land. Men don't dream."

Jeffrey had dreamed anyway.  He remembered nights under the stars, sketching designs for bridges and towers, imagining cities that touched the clouds.  His father had laughed at those dreams - called them foolish.  "The soil is your future," he'd say. 

Now - Jeffrey looked at the soil and felt nothing but distance.  He was not his father.  He would never be his father.  And for the first time, that truth felt like freedom - not betrayal.

He closed the door behind him, the sound sharp and final.  Ahead lay a road that curved toward the horizon - a road his father never walked.  Jeffrey smiled, stepped forward, and whispered to the wind:  "I am not who my father was.  And that is my strength."  The wind carried his words across the fields, and for a moment, Jeffrey felt lighter.....until he saw the figure standing at the edge of the road....it was his father!

It was his father, not as he remembered - stern and towering - but pale, hollow-eyed, dressed in the same clothes he'd been buried in five years ago.  The figure raised a hand and spoke in a voice that was both familiar and wrong:  "Son, if you are not who I was...then who are you?"

Jeffrey froze.  The suitcase slipping from his fingers.  His breath caught as the figure stepped closer, and the ground beneath his feet seemed to hum.  He glanced back at the farmhouse - its windows glowing faintly, though he'd turned off every light.  Then he saw it....his father's old journal lying on the porch, open to a page he'd never read before.  Scrawled in jagged ink were the words:  "If he leaves, he will forget.  If he forgets, he will become me."  Jeffrey's pulse thundered.  The figure smiled - a smile that stretched too wide -- and whispered:  "You've already started."

Jeffrey looked down at his hands.  They were calloused, cracked, and stained with soil he hadn't touched in years.  His suitcase was gone.  The horizon was gone.  Only the fields remained.  And somewhere deep inside, a voice that wasn't his own said:  "Men work the land. Men don't dream."  The End.

 

What will your ending be?  Write your ending.  This ending makes the father not a ghost but a psychological construct - a generational curse that erases individuality.  It leaves readers wondering if Jeffrey ever existed as himself or if he was always destined to become "the father."

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